“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
—Fred Rogers
October 22, 2026 | One Year of Detour From Hell 💜
One year ago today, on October 22, 2025, I published my very first blog entry.
And holy shit, what a year it’s been.
Normally when I post anytime other than Sunday, it is a Mini-Detour, but I thought the progress deserved its own article. I will post again on Sunday with a short summary regarding Domestic Violence Month and then this will be the article for the week.
When I started Detour From Hell: The Mind of a Hot Mess, I didn’t have some perfectly mapped-out plan for what this would become. I didn’t have a plan at all. I had a lifetime of experiences, a brain that rarely knows when to shut the hell up, and a strong feeling that we needed to start having some very uncomfortable conversations about alot of things: Mental health. Addiction. Trauma. Domestic violence. Grief. Recovery. And all those things people experience behind closed doors while the rest of the world assumes they’re doing just fine.
I wanted to share my story, educate people, challenge stigma, and maybe help someone else feel a little less alone. What I didn’t realize was how much this journey would continue to teach me about myself.
Somewhere between researching how trauma changes the brain, writing about things I’d spent years surviving, and trying to explain experiences that are almost impossible to put into words, I started connecting dots I hadn’t even realized were there.
And as it turns out, October 2025 wasn’t just the beginning of a blog. It was the beginning of two different adventures that shared one important purpose. And really the true beginning of my healing.
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
— Maya Angelou
A Year Ago, I Was Still Trying to Figure Out What Came Next
If you’ve followed my story, you know that my life hasn’t exactly followed a traditional path.
I’ve witnessed pretty frequent violence in childhood, abusive relationships as an adult, addiction in both, serious health complications, surgeries, a devastating tornado, and then to top it off… the kind of grief and trauma that completely changes who you are. I’d spent years managing mental health challenges while somehow maintaining a successful career in corporate finance.
For a long time, I was incredibly good at making everything look fine. I could meet deadlines, manage financial statements, work ridiculous hours, and handle enormous amounts of responsibility while dealing with things most of my coworkers never knew existed.
But after losing Dustin in January 2022, something changed in a way I couldn’t simply push through.
My ability to smile, nod, fake emotions, and tolerate the corporate bullshit I’d put up with for years was pretty much gone. My filter had disappeared to an extent and my brain was no longer willing to accept certain things just because someone had a title or authority over me. Unfortunately, ass-kissing is a requirement in the corporate world, if you want to get anywhere at least, and keep your job.
The trauma affected my brain, my memory, my anxiety, and eventually my career. The coping strategies I’d relied on weren’t enough anymore. By 2025, I was trying to figure out how to rebuild a life that looked very different from the one I’d spent so long working toward.
I’d spent approximately 15 years building a career in finance and accounting. I was good at what I did, but the truth is, I had always hated my job. But when you’ve invested that much time and money into a career, it’s hard to imagine doing anything else, especially when you have no idea how you’re going to replace the income. In my early 20’s I thought money was the important thing when choosing a degree; now in my 30’s I have realized how wrong that was. Being happy is the ultimate goal.
What is the point of having money if you’re a miserable human?
My partner encouraged me to find something that would genuinely make me happy. Something meaningful. Something that allowed me to use what I’d learned, and do some good with it.
I didn’t know exactly what that would look like. I just knew I couldn’t keep doing things the same way. I couldn’t see myself continuing in a corporate setting.
And somewhere in the middle of all that uncertainty, two new chapters began, within about a week of each other. I don’t know how I got the idea for Serene Efficiency because it is so unique; but I think after what I had experienced over the last few years and recognizing in my final job what the real problem was, it seemed really needed even though I had no idea where to start.
But apparently, walking away from corporate finance, rebuilding my life, and trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do next wasn’t enough of a challenge, so I dove into the LLC and blog writing.
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
— Arthur Ashe
I’ve Never Been Quiet About My Story — But Now It Has a Different Purpose
If you know me personally, you probably know that keeping my opinions to myself has never exactly been my strongest quality. And when it comes to something I am passionate about, I’ve never been particularly good at looking the other way.
Especially after losing Dustin. As I said, my ass-kissing abilities, my filter, had vanished.
Since his death, I’ve been outspoken about what happened, the circumstances surrounding his fentanyl poisoning, and the questions I’ve continued to raise about how his case was handled. I’ve done research just this week on where I should turn next to get justice. I’ve pushed for accountability, challenged decisions I disagreed with, and refused to simply accept answers that didn’t make sense to me.
So starting Detour From Hell wasn’t about suddenly finding the courage to tell my story. It was about finding a different way to use my voice; a way that could matter. I have always hoped that these new adventures would lead me down a path to actually get justice.
I didn’t want this blog to be nothing more than a collection of stories about the difficult things I’ve survived. I wanted to connect personal experiences with research, statistics, education, and awareness. Because there’s a difference between telling someone what happened to you and helping them understand why it matters… and why it happens.
Why trauma can change how the brain functions.
Why addiction is far more complicated than a lack of willpower.
Why domestic violence doesn’t always leave visible bruises.
Why someone can appear completely successful while privately struggling to hold everything together for years.
And why the assumptions we make about people can sometimes cause more harm than we realize.
The more we understand about what people experience, the harder it becomes to dismiss, judge, or ignore what they’re going through.
And if something I write makes someone question an assumption, recognize a warning sign, understand their own experience, or treat another person with a little more compassion, then it’s all worth it.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”
—Brene Brown
*I Started Researching to Educate Others — and Ended Up Educating Myself
Something I never anticipated was how much I’d learn while researching these articles.
I’ve always been curious about why people think, behave, and react the way they do. But once I started digging deeper into trauma, addiction, anxiety, ADHD, and the nervous system, I found myself connecting dots I hadn’t even realized were there.
Suddenly, certain reactions I’d spent years criticizing myself for, things that had made me feel like something was wrong with me or something I was doing, started making perfect sense.
Why trauma can affect memory.
Why anxiety and ADHD can make everyday tasks feel unnecessarily complicated.
Why people develop coping mechanisms that seem irrational to someone who has never experienced the circumstances that created them.
Why someone can be highly successful professionally and still be struggling tremendously behind the scenes.
And why understanding the reason behind someone’s behavior doesn’t mean eliminating personal responsibility.
Understanding isn’t the same as excusing. Compassion and accountability can exist together.
Throughout my corporate career, I’d been in leadership and watched employees struggle while supervisors and coworkers often misunderstood what was happening. I’d also experienced firsthand what it was like to be a dedicated, high-performing employee whose mental health challenges eventually became impossible to hide.
How many good employees have been labeled difficult, lazy, unreliable, or unmotivated when something much more complicated was happening beneath the surface? And how many supervisors genuinely wanted to help but had no idea how and was just uncomfortable?
That’s the gap I wanted Serene Efficiency to help address.
Not by turning managers into therapists or eliminating accountability, but by providing practical education and tools to recognize when someone is struggling, communicate more effectively, and respond with understanding while maintaining expectations.
Although workplaces are my starting point, my long-term vision is to bring this education into communities, schools, and recovery organizations, where these conversations are just as important.
Detour From Hell and Serene Efficiency may serve different audiences, but both are built around something I believe strongly.
Education can change the way we understand ourselves, the way we treat others and ourselves, and the way we respond when someone is struggling.
“Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign, but stories can also be used to empower and to humanize.”
—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Let’s Not Pretend It’s All Been Sunshine and Rainbows
Now, before this starts sounding like one of those inspirational stories where someone quits corporate America, follows their dreams, and suddenly spends their afternoons sipping coffee while money magically appears in their bank account…
Yeah. No.
That has definitely not been my experience.
Starting over professionally has been one of the most financially challenging things I’ve ever done. Leaving corporate finance meant taking approximately an 80% pay cut, literally.
And let me tell you, that has not been an easy adjustment. I made more as an intern in college I believe.
I’ve had to find other ways to earn an income while continuing to build Serene Efficiency. I’ve adjusted my outreach strategies more than once, spent countless hours researching opportunities, and invested time and resources into something that doesn’t come with any guarantee of any success, let alone financial.
There have been rejections, unanswered emails, frustrating setbacks, and moments when the financial pressure made everything seem nearly impossible…. seemed like I was being selfish because for the first time in my life, I was not able to contribute the way I always had.
And plenty of days where I’ve worked too long only to look at my to-do list and wonder how the hell it somehow got longer.
My ADHD certainly doesn’t help with that.
Neither does the occasional perfectionism that convinces me something needs another six hours of work when it was probably fine three hours ago.
And although I’ve made progress in understanding my mental health, that doesn’t mean the symptoms have magically disappeared.
I still deal with anxiety, almost daily. It feels so good when it is not… like today I feel pretty good! Sometimes I have no idea why. Sometimes I have a guess. And I still struggle with certain aspects of executive functioning and memory. I still have difficult days, and grief doesn’t politely disappear just because you find something meaningful to do with your life or another person.
There have been moments when I wondered whether I was making the right decisions. I even considered returning to corporate finance simply because it would have been the easier financial decision. But that had to be my last resort.
After everything that led me to make this change, the thought of going back to a career that had made me so unhappy was difficult to accept. So we found ways to make it work.
Not always easily. Not always comfortably. Not without help. And certainly not without a few moments of wondering what the hell I’d gotten myself into or what I was doing.
But I’m still here, still building, and finally starting to see some of that hard work creating real opportunities!
“Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.”
— Bryan Stevenson
One Year Later — And We’ve Come Far!
When I look back at everything that’s happened since October 2025, it’s actually pretty incredible, even though at times I felt incredibly stagnant (just because I am impatient).
A year ago, I had two ideas, a whole lot of uncertainty, and absolutely no guarantee that either would become what I’d hoped.
Since then, Detour From Hell has become a place where I can combine personal experiences with research, education, and awareness about issues that affect far more people than we sometimes realize.
And Serene Efficiency has grown from an idea into a business with educational workshops, too large of a portfolio, a clear mission and vision, and opportunities I honestly couldn’t have imagined when I first started.
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
— Dolly Parton
Some Pretty Meaningful Moments Along the Way
Not all of this year’s accomplishments have been about building a business.
On the 5th year of my recovery birthday, April 8, I had the opportunity to share my story at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. It wasn’t the first time I’d spoken at a recovery meeting, but it’s something that continues to mean a great deal to me. Every time I’ve shared my story, at least one person has approached me afterward to thank me. And that has always stuck with me.
I know people have experienced things far worse than I have, but when I look back at the sheer number of challenges I’ve faced and overcome, it’s honestly pretty astonishing. And it just means I can potentially help that many more people.
If sharing those experiences helps even one person feel understood, gives them some hope, or reminds them that they’re not alone, then it’s worth every uncomfortable part of telling the story.
I publicly debuted Serene Efficiency at “The Hidden Responsibility Behind Leadership,” a conference in Rogers, Arkansas. After countless hours spent researching, writing, developing workshops, and creating educational materials, finally introducing the business and its mission to other professionals was a pretty significant milestone.
Its also led to some great contacts that are currently in progress. Something that had existed primarily behind my computer screen was finally being shared with people who could potentially help bring the mission to life.
A few weeks ago, I also participated in an interview for a book about workplace mental health. It gave me another opportunity to share my experiences and discuss why greater awareness and understanding are so desperately needed in professional environments. She said she would contact me and let me edit anything I am uncomfortable with, so I guess that means I made the book? lol. It has not been confirmed that my story will be used in her book but she seemed like it in the way we were talking. Either wise, it was an honor to be interviewed.
I have been recognized as a Marquis Who’s Who honoree, which was the first achievement I was really proud of.
Along with these experiences, I’ve connected with people and organizations involved in mental health, addiction recovery, trauma awareness, workplace safety, and community advocacy.
Every conversation has helped me learn more about where Serene Efficiency fits, how to reach the right audiences, and what opportunities might be possible.
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward.”
— James Clear
And Then Things Got Really Exciting — Really Quickly!
Th-e week after the interview, I was invited to present Serene Efficiency at 1 Million Cups in Bentonville on December 16, 2026! I’ll have the opportunity to introduce the business to entrepreneurs, community members, and potential partners right here in Northwest Arkansas. I will have seven minutes to present the company.
And yes, I’m already working on figuring out how to fit everything I want to say into seven minutes. If you’ve ever read one of my longer articles, you can probably appreciate the challenge.
And just a few days later, I received a call with even more exciting news…. I’d been accepted as a speaker for the TraumaWise Workplace Summit in March 2027! I’ll be presenting on a subject that means an enormous amount to me: understanding trauma and its impact on people in the workplace. It will be 18-23 minutes long and I have 3 minutes to promote my business. And my speech will be kept online for others to view afterwards.
To go from developing an idea at my computer to being invited to share that mission with so much larger of audiences, all within the first year, is something I’m incredibly grateful for. Especially considering I had no idea wth I was doing.
What’s also been encouraging is the response I’ve received when discussing Serene Efficiency with other professionals. So far, I haven’t encountered anyone who has suggested that the issues I’m addressing aren’t important or relevant.
Quite the opposite.
The mental health challenges, trauma, addiction, burnout, and communication gaps in workplaces don’t belong to one industry. They affect people in construction, healthcare, offices, education, retail, and virtually every other workplace.
And hearing others recognize those gaps has only strengthened my belief that this education is needed.
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”
— Frederick Douglass, 1857
The Next Chapter Is Already Taking Shape
One of the biggest things I’ve- learned this year is that reaching individual employers isn’t necessarily the only, or the most effective, way to get this information in front of people.
That’s why I’m shifting more of my focus toward speaking engagements, educational conferences, expos, and partnerships with professional organizations.
These opportunities can put Serene Efficiency directly in front of employers, leaders, and organizations that are already interested in the subjects I cover.
I’m researching events throughout Arkansas, Kansas, Missouri, and Oklahoma, with the goal of participating in a few conferences and expos throughout 2027.
Of course, these opportunities aren’t free. Registration fees, exhibitor booths, travel, lodging, and educational materials can add up quickly, especially for a self-funded business.
That’s why I’m also seeking sponsors who believe in the mission and would be willing to help make participation in some of these events possible.
Even one sponsorship could help bring this education to audiences I might not otherwise have the resources to reach. Because ultimately, this isn’t just about growing a business. It’s about getting information into the hands of people who can use it to make a difference.
And with two exciting speaking opportunities already scheduled for the coming months, I can’t help being excited about what 2027 might bring.
“You’ve got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing.”
— Arthur Ashe
And We’re Just Getting Started!
When I look at everything that’s happened over the past 365 days, I can’t help feeling proud.
Not because everything has gone perfectly. It certainly hasn’t.
But because I kept going, even when there were moments when moving forward seemed almost impossible.
And when I look at everything I’ve accomplished this year, I think it’s proof of something I spent far too long questioning.
I am more than capable and competent. I’m not broken. I’m just different. And that’s okay.
My brain doesn’t work the way many others do. Sometimes that creates challenges I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Other times, it’s part of what allows me to see connections, question assumptions, and approach problems differently.
For years, I measured my capabilities against expectations and environments that didn’t always work for me. I knew what I was capable of professionally, but when things became harder after Dustin’s death, I started questioning abilities I’d spent my entire career proving and relying on.
This past year has reminded me that struggling in one environment doesn’t mean you’re incapable of succeeding in another. And I hope someone reading this, who has spent years feeling like they don’t quite fit the mold, realizes that being different doesn’t make them any less capable or deserving of an opportunity.
Dustin has remained a huge part of why these conversations mean so much to me. Nothing I accomplish will undo losing him, and I have said that everything happens for a reason… because it makes things easier to deal with. But some things are simply devastating and unfair; it doesn’t make sense why some of these things HAD to happen. It will never make sense to me, because while yes he had flaws, he was a great kind passionate man that had a lot of dreams and goals.
But I can choose what I do with the life I have now. I can keep sharing his story, advocating for answers, and using my experiences and education to help others. And that’s exactly what I intend to do.
A year ago, I had two ideas, a whole lot of uncertainty, and no guarantee that either would work out.
Today, I have a blog I’m proud of keeping up with, a business with a mission I genuinely believe in, growing relationships, and opportunities to speak to audiences I never imagined I’d reach.
And the best part? We’re just getting started!
To everyone who has read an article, shared a post, offered encouragement, supported Serene Efficiency, donated, or simply taken the time to listen — thank you. Your support has meant more than you will ever realize.
Here’s to another year of challenging stigma, sharing knowledge, creating opportunities, and reminding people that their experiences don’t have to define the limits of their future!
I have no idea exactly where I’ll be on October 22, 2027. But if this first year has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes the most unexpected chapters of your life turn out to be the best ones you never imagined you would be writing.
And I can’t wait to see what comes next.
Always read with care.
Healing’s a hell of a detour—but we don’t have to walk it alone.
Have a great week. Talk to you next time!
“Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.”
— Vincent van Gogh
THIS!!!!!! 👇👇👇👇👇👇
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