This blog entry is not meant to be edited and modified, etc. So I have not checked grammar, etc. I wanted this entry to be from the heart and lay it how it is was actually told. I have included a short note I wrote to him. And I asked his close family and friends to provide a good or funny memory they have of him if they would like share.
Happy Birthday, Dustin.
I just want it acknowledged that today will forever be an important day ā because you existed, you mattered, and you are still, and always will be, so very loved and missed.
Iām trying super hard not to make this month heavy, which isn’t possible, but especially today.
I think about the way you laughed and made the silliest ādad jokes,ā (and the way you laughed at the eye roll I’d give you), the way we constantly laughed at ourselves, the way you noticed things most people missed, how attentive and loving you were, and the quiet ways you showed up for the people you cared about. You brought so much warmth, humor, and intelligence into the world ā and the people who TRULY knew you are better because of it.
And you brought so much more into my life. I feel incredibly honored that I was able to spend your last years really getting to know you. You were definitely a complex character ā but in the best way possible.
You are always remembered, will never be forgotten, and will forever loved. And I am always expecting you to watch over me š I do love you so much Dustin. Words cannot do justice to the damage that was done when you left us — but words also cannot do justice to the kind of unique human you truly were. And I will never stop telling your story or celebrating who you were.
Happy 36th heavenly birthday, bagelsš
– Ashley
I knew I wanted to make an extra blog entry today for his birthday but I really didn’t know what to do since I have written tomorrows entry, which is related to his Legacy, and how I knew him.
I reached out to the people who knew him best and asked if they would be willing to share a favorite or funny memory for this post. For privacy, Iām not listing names, but the words that follow are shared exactly as they were sent to me. I also asked if there were songs or photos theyād like included. If you notice music or images woven throughout, theyāre there intentionally ā each one carries it’s own meaning to someone.
I did not give enough notice since I was not sure what to do for this entry, so I will be updating as more requests or memories come in. Please message me if you have one your would like to share. Even if its a picture, or a song that reminds you of him, words are not always necessary — and I am keeping names out unless you specifically ask to be included, so it will be anonymous.
One of my favorite funny memories with Dustin:
One thing people probably wouldnāt expect about Dustin is that he wanted to buy a couples āAdventure Bookā, something most men would call cheesy. It was during COVID, we were bored, I was in a deep depression, and extremely restlessā he thought this was a great idea. He was more excited about it than I was, and I loved that so much, it made me excited about it. Looking back, I think he was really just trying to pull me out of my funk. He always tried if I was having a hard time.
The first “date” we scratched off, had him blindfolded while I tried to verbally explain how to make a pie š key lime was his favorite and turns out super easy. So we went to the store and he actually did incredibly well lol.
However, when he picked it up off the table to take it to the oven, it slipped right out of his hands, and upside down on the floor š¤£š we laughed so long over that. I swear I have a pic somewhere showing the pie on the floor but haven’t been able to find it. That’s the picture I was going to get printed to put into the Adventure book (it asked for a pic of the outcome LOL) š it was so much fun.
The second one we did, I never would have imagined it would become so important to me, but we created the box below, in 2021. It was supposed to be a memory box type of thing. After he passed, my sponsor had me turn it into my “god box”. So if there was anything bothering me, or unanswered questions, or a thought that was driving me crazy…. whatever it was…. I was to write it down, and put it into a slit that I cut in the top of the box. All of those are still in there. In hindsight, I had no idea how much this box truly would mean to me.
But I remember having so much fun at hobby lobby picking out random decorations. I was so surprised he wanted to get the silly little stickers, but he loved it. And of course Bowser and Luna had to be incorporated into it in some way. Unfortunately, this was the last activity we were able to do out of the “Adventure Challenge”. But the meaning and willingness of him actually wanting to do it, that is what truly meant the most to me.
And it meant so much to me that he was just as excited about things like this as I would be. It always made everything more fun. I miss those adventures so much. I loved to see him smile. He will always have an abundance of love from me – he will always be a part of my life – and I’m just really glad I got to know him as the true person he was. He was an amazing, loving, and caring man…. to say the very least.
As mentioned, I reached out to family and friends to see if anyone wanted to share a good or funny memory to add to the blog š unfortunately most of the people I know that he was friends with in Wichita, I am not in contact anymore. Also, since I wasn’t sure what I was going to do for this entry, I didn’t give anyone really any time or heads up. So, there is a good possibility that more will come in, and I will continue to add on to the list as they come in. And feel free to send a picture or a song that makes you think of him and I can add that instead, just anything that would remember him….
The best memories (from his friends and family):
From his best friend, diaper buddy:
“Definitely miss him. I miss the days skating and cruising in my Elcamino with not a care in the world.” & “He would give you the shirt off his back and then beat the person that took your shirt.”
Here are a few songs he requested I share that remind him of Dustin:
From a very close Family Friend:
“I always think about how he treated people. He was always kind to (her daughter) even though she was a lot younger and the boys were usually annoyed with her.
I always remember how he treated animals. All sorts of animals. The last time he was at my house he spent so much time playing with my dogs. š¤£
The funniest thing was when we went camping when he was about 7. He wanted to come so bad. I knew he often wanted to go home when he spent the night at the house. We talked and talked about how he wouldn’t be able to go home at night. He agreed and he went with us. Well it was hot, it was thundering outside, and guess what? He wanted to go home, poor fella. He cried and cried. He’s was ok the next morning though when we went swimmging on the lake.
I just always loved that kid. I hated the battle he fought. I still do. I will always be proud of how hard he fought though. Always.”
From a Good Friend in Recovery:
“My favorite memories of Dustin were seeing him work with newcomers in the last few weeks of his life.
Especially the night of his 6 month sobriety birthday. He was glowing and looking everyone in the eye that night. The shame, guilt and remorse of the past was gone. He had HOPE. The promises were coming true for him.
I know that his life, sobriety and his accidental death changed many people.
One new guy had really connected with Dustin. Because of their similarities when he saw the devastation Dustinās death caused his family and loved ones he said he āfinallyā understood how much it would destroy his family if something happened to him.
This man began to change. He is still sober today 4 years later and in his 1st and 2nd year birthdays he gave credit to Dustin for helping him stay sober.
Just when you really got me to like you – you left.
I guess thatās how we all feel about you.
You left us all wanting more.”
I know there is so much more that would like to be said, but as I admitted, I didnt give much notice. So if you are reading this and think of a good memory, please share, and I will be sure to add!
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