Blog: Detour From Hell; The Mind of a Hot Mess

Finding Serenity in Chaos; Surviving Hell
(and making it something beautiful)

In Loving Memory of Dustin Gene Gotham, Forever 32

Mental Health

Domestic Violence

Addiction

Favorite Quote:
When someone says, ” I can’t change”
Some part of them wants to change, but the payoffs for his present behavior, are greater than the payoffs for changed.
Behavior, or his fear of change is too great
Ladies and gentlemen, it takes courage to live your dreams
It takes courage to manifest your greatness
It takes courage to decide to live.”

– Les Brown

If you’ve ever felt like life threw a couple, or a hundred too many challenges at you, and you have found it difficult dealing with all the different things that are happening in today’s world, you’re in the right place. My story isn’t polished or pretty — I am an open book. It’s messy, heartbreaking, sometimes darkly funny, and absolutely real. However, it is also about overcoming, rising above, breaking cycles, setting boundaries, and achieving happiness and success after trauma. I decided to start this page to not only get the conversation going on these topics that have too much stigma around them, but also for my own mental health, and hopefully my new career.

Detour From Hell: The Mind of a Hot Mess is where I lay it all out — the raw truth, the ugly cries, the dark humor, the science behind healing, and the wins that keep us moving forward. There will also be a lot of shocking statistics related to MH, Addiction, and Domestic Violence. In this website, you will also find resources, events, a memory board, and more.

Here, you’ll find:

This isn’t a self-help blog. It’s a self-truth blog. A place for survivors, strugglers, and anyone who’s ever felt like their life took a wrong turn and they’re just trying to find the map again. Even if its just in a part of your life.

So please, grab a cup of coffee (or energy drink 😁 or whatever floats your boat), settle in, and join the conversation. Healing’s a hell of a detour — but we don’t have to walk it alone.

  • Part 2: Grief from a Personal Perspective

    Content Warning 🤍 This post discusses grief, traumatic loss, post-traumatic stress, addiction, and the death of a loved one. While graphic details are not included, the content may be emotionally difficult for some readers. Please take care of yourself while reading. Support resources are encouraged if this brings up difficult emotions. 💜 Resources are avaliable…

  • Grief, Part 1: Understanding What Grief Really Is

    Content Warning: This post discusses grief, trauma, addiction, and loss. Please take care of yourself while reading. 🤍 Grief is one of the most universal human experiences—and one of the most misunderstood. It is often reduced to sadness, expected to follow a predictable timeline in certain stages, and quietly tolerated only for a short period…

  • Fentanyl Crisis: The Facts We Can’t Ignore

    For the month of January, I will be dedicating the blog entries to Dustin —because both his birthdate and the day he left us fall in January. If you know my story, then you probably know at least some of his. But his full story, at least as I knew him, deserves to be written.…

  • Apologies for the early publish

  • How Silence, Systems, and Survival Made Abuse Seem Normal: A Survivor’s Perspective

    Content Warning: This post discusses domestic violence, childhood trauma, and emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual abuse. Please take care of yourself while reading. This is a detailed recall in a nutshell with my experience related to domestic violence. Resources are included at the end and on the Resource page of the website. Opening: A Personal Truth…

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About the Author

Ashley Alexander, author and creator behind “Detour From Hell”, and I am passionate about sharing real stories, sharing shocking statistics, and providing resources. Read full bio and purpose of blog here.

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